Internet Blues

It’s not exactly been an outside week here. We’ve had a few storms that have been bad enough to keep us awake at night with the rain and hail rattling on the windows. And today a dusting of snow, which didn’t last long as more rain arrived. What is surprising though is that the lowest temperature we’ve recorded so far is 1.5 deg, above freezing.

Internet Blues!

Being as I work on the computer from home, like many others nowadays, I’m very dependent on the connection to the world that the phone line brings. Not so much for the phone as for the internet and what’s really driving me mad at the moment is our internet connection.

On Sunday we noticed the telephone was a little crackly and the net was a bit slow. Still, it might just be a blip so decide to see how it is the next day. Monday you couldn’t carry on a conversation on the telephone and the broadband was crawling.

So ring BT… After passing the hurdles of press one for this, two for that and this call will be recorded for our amusement at the Christmas party, I finally get an advisor. Nice chap, said he’d check the line and phone me back.

Well they must have some powerful telescopes in Mumbai to check our line with and a lot of money to ring from India to Wales, but nothing to complain about .. yet.

So he duly rings back and the conversation is something like..

  • BT Mumbai “Mr Harrison?”
  • Me in Wales “Yes!”
  • BT Mumbai “We have checked the line and there is no fault.”
  • Me in Wales “But you can hear how bad the line is.”
  • BT Mumbai “Can you speak up please, it is a very bad line

By now I’m banging my head on the wall but eventually he agrees to give me the telephone number of the Openreach engineers. Except he actually gives me a number for their way leave department who handle things like paying out rent for having a pole on your land.

So ring back to BT, go through the automated system hurdles yet again and thence to yet another conversation with Mumbai (I suppose BT stands for Bombay Telecoms) This chap manages to book an engineer visit for Wednesday but I have to listen to a lecture on how they’ll charge me £130 if I’ve hit the master socket with a vacuum cleaner or it’s my phone that’s the problem.

I do feel sorry for those chaps, they’re only following stupid scripts and probably think everyone in Britain is pretty bad-tempered and angry. I resisted the urge to swear until the phone was put down. You may nominate me as a saint.

Incidentally, my neighbour tells of ringing BT only to be told there was no line fault when he could see the line was lying on the ground rather than crossing from pole to pole. They’ll be telling us to switch it off and on again soon.

Wednesday came and the engineer had to replace a lot of overhead lines and various boxes on the poles but we now have a crystal clear phone line. I’ve no complaints about the engineers themselves. Knowledgeable and efficient people who do a good job.  Lord help them when BT management finds out.

Unfortunately in this world of electrons whizzing about at the speed of light, it apparently takes 3 days for the broadband to start going at full speed after a fault.

I did ask my ISP why it took three days but apparently they’re all too busy practicing their hatless clog dancing on Ilkley Moor and tea drinking to answer (Yep, it’s them Yorkshire folk from Plus Net who are owned by BT)

Oh well, it’s a traditional internet connection just like the days of modems and web pages that took ages to load.

Posted in Rants and Raves
3 comments on “Internet Blues
  1. Andy Mahoney says:


    Ask BT to do a gain check on your line and then once they have done do ask them to turn the gain up full on your line (Tell them the Broadband is dropping out all the time) Chances are that your Gain will not be all the way up on your line right now and once it is you will notice a difference.

  2. phil storry says:

    My outside line broke in two and was lying on the ground. On 31 October an engineer came out and would not go up the pole to replace it because the pole hadn’t been inspected when it should have been so he joined the wires on the ground and reported to base that he’d fixed it. I asked when the cable would be replaced and he said he didn’t know because BT has contracted the maintenance and supply of poles to a third party but gleefully agreed that would involve further delay. BT have texted me to say the problem has been fixed although the line is still on the ground nearly 2 months later and in the recent snow my internet was off for a day. I have terrible crackling on the line and BT say they’ve tested it and it’s ok. Why is contacting such companies more difficult than it used to be and why isn’t customer service management bothered?
    Back to gardening.

  3. Tom says:

    Ive just had problems with virgin new super modem arrived fitted not so super it did not work,after similar phone calls like yours john they told me it would be a week before anyone could come out, again Mumbai calling. Was not happy,redailed put through to cut off department told them to turn it all off t/v phone ect only to be told the engineer would be here in the morning funny how they are not to busy then.Back you post i am still laughing as i type this for the comments BT Mumbai “We have checked the line and there is no fault.” BT Mumbai “Can you speak up please, it is a very bad line“. Hope you had a good Christmas you don’t get to much snow

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